Adultery is devastating. In the aftermath of an adulterous affair, the offending spouse must first turn away from sin through repentance before God. But after such repentance takes place, there’s another question that has to be answered: Should you confess the adultery to your spouse? Sometimes the act of confessing to a … Read moreShould You Tell Your Spouse if You Cheat?
I look at him and he looks at me. I so badly want to tell him these things so that he can hear – really hear my heart. I am so afraid though. I am afraid that I will botch it up; I am afraid my words won’t come out right. I am afraid … Read more5 Things Your Wife Wants You to Know (But is Afraid to Say)
One of the first movies I saw with James when we were just friends was Princess Bride. We were at a house with other grad students. I looked over at James who had declared our relationship to be merely platonic. But I saw in him my Westley, my true love. He didn’t see me … Read moreHelp! My Husband Isn’t Prince Charming Anymore
Okay, so having a boyfriend is awesome. No, but it really is great. Knowing there’s a sweet man out in the world crushing on me is pretty much one of the best things ever. However, it’s not THE best thing ever. Hang with me… I’ve been noticing something odd: people are happy … Read moreWhy a Post-Divorce Relationship Won’t Complete You
I’ve heard people say marriage is hard, but mostly all I noticed during the many years I was single was that marriage looked pretty fun. There were the double dates, constant companionship, and vacations together. People mentioned it was hard but I never really knew what that meant…until now. Next week I celebrate … Read more8 Things I Learned My First Year of Marriage
When was the last time you had a fight, slept in separate bedrooms and had fantasies/fears that your marriage was over? Joe and Tamra, working with me on a recent Marriage Intensive, had a night like that in the middle of their Intensive counseling. “It’s over this time, doc,” Joe said during … Read more5 Steps to End an Ugly Fight
We have a secret for you, one your husband may not even be able to verbalize: you may be the only person he feels truly safe with. Emotionally, guys guard themselves. For many men, it is only his wife that he will completely open up to and share his deepest hopes, fears, frustrations, pains … Read moreGet Your Man to Open Up in 3 Easy Steps
“I’m sure he’s having an affair and I’m leaving him.” “Everyone he works with is young and pretty.” “I should’ve known he’d be unfaithful when he had so many girlfriends before we were married.” “She lived with someone. She probably wishes she had stayed with him.” You’ve probably heard laments … Read moreHave You Forgiven Each Other for Premarital Sex?
“We have to talk,” my husband said as he opened the car door for me to get in. He had no red roses or sweet chocolates for me. Instead, I tasted the bitterness of infidelity in that car ride. Our marriage had been happy, strong and filled with exciting plans. But like … Read more5 Lies the Enemy Wants You to Believe When Infidelity Attacks Your Marriage
Some forms of communication are deadly. We all know when we are being spoken to with respect. We know when someone cares about our well-being and shares with us in such a way that we feel alive and well in their presence. We also know when we feel disrespected. We know when … Read moreIs Blame Destroying Your Marriage?
Horror stories about monstrous mother-in-laws, bigoted father-in-laws and clueless sister or brother-in-laws abound in pop culture. You can see in-laws at their worst in The In-Laws (1979 and 2003), Hush (1998), Monster-in-Law (2005), Mother Knows Best (1997) and The Governor’s Wife (2008). Plus, nearly every week, someone is writing to a newspaper advice columnist … Read moreHow to Have a Healthy Relationship with Your In-Laws
I am a divorced Christian. I know that to many Christians, the term “divorced Christian” may be an oxymoron. I made a covenant before God and man, and that covenant is broken. Or, according to some, I am still bound by it because my ex-husband is still living. Trust me, I know … Read moreAre Christians Responding to Divorce the Way God Intended?
I cuddle up to him as he sits and reads on the couch. I sheepishly look into his eyes and wish he could see the turmoil of my heart. “Do you love me?” I ask and wait with baited breath for his response. Tenderly he lifts my chin and smiles, “Of course I … Read moreHow Do I Know If I am Enough for My Husband?
A few years ago, I wrote a four-part article that ran on Crosswalk called The Unraveling of a Christian Marriage. To this day, I still get emails about this article. And the email usually sounds something like this: Thank you for writing my story. I no longer feel alone. I’m in a … Read moreJust Because I’m Divorced Doesn’t Mean You Should Divorce
“I don’t’ think I should be the one to always have to change first,” Darrin said angrily. “I’ve been waiting for months for her to make the first move and at this rate we will never get back together.” Darrin had been asked to separate from his wife, Lauren, several months earlier. It … Read moreWhen You Have One Last Chance to Save Your Marriage
I recently slipped into a bad mood disorder. Now, to be clear, I didn’t technically have a diagnosable Mood Disorder. Rather, I had a disturbance of mood. Let me explain. My wife Christie and I had just had a tiff. Nothing serious, but I got my feelings hurt. There were several minutes of … Read more5 Simple Ways to Overcome a Really Bad Mood
“Married couples are boring!” she said. She had just asked me about my weekend, but as soon as I started explaining what our family had done she chimed in with that delightful statement. “The single life is where it’s at….” she added. It’s interesting to see how different people respond to the … Read more5 Reasons Married Sex is the Best Kind of Sex
Last week, I referred to 6 ways to counsel a husband who has harmed his wife with his pornography struggle. What about the wife? Although many are harmed by a husband’s struggle with pornography, no one is harmed more than his wife. How does a pastor care and counsel a wife who has been harmed by … Read moreHow Do You Counsel a Wife Whose Husband Struggles with Pornography?
“It’s been miserable, Gary,” the woman confessed. “We’ve only been married for three years but it has been the worst three years of my life. My husband has just been awful. And what frustrates me so much is that God confirmed that I was supposed to marry him, ten times over.” You could … Read moreStop Believing God Told You to Marry Your Spouse
Children change everything. Any parent will tell you that. Everyone agrees that adding children to a marriage alters every aspect of life. What parents cannot seem to agree on is whether or not all of the changes are positive. Sometimes, tired parents seem to boast about the hours spent in the family minivan, … Read more5 Ways Infertility Can Destroy Your Marriage
In Parts 1 (8 Reasons Your Husband Isn’t Talking to You) and 2 (4 Tips for Getting Your Husband to Talk to You), we considered why a wife needs her husband to talk, why he’s not talking, and what can be done to improve communication. Much of what was written was baby steps and … Read more4 Simple Ways to Make Sure Your Husband Feels Respected
This Valentine’s Day are you tempted to give up? To harden your heart, pawn your wedding ring, and simply walk away? Nothing hurts quite like a failing marriage, and there is no loneliness as intense as living with a stranger, especially one that used to be your best friend. So how did … Read more5 Steps to Take for Reviving a Dead Marriage
Editor’s Note: Pastor Roger Barrier’s “Ask Roger” column regularly appears at Preach It, Teach It. Every week at Crosswalk, Dr. Barrier puts nearly 40 years of experience in the pastorate to work answering questions of doctrine or practice for laypeople, or giving advice on church leadership issues. Email him your questions at [email protected]. Dear … Read moreWill God Bring Vengeance on My Cheating Husband?
One day the angels came to present themselves before the Lord, and Satan also came with them. The Lord said to Satan, “Where have you come from?” Satan answered the Lord, “From roaming throughout the earth, going back and forth on it.” Then the Lord said to Satan, “Have you considered my … Read moreWhat My Divorce Taught Me about Trusting God
Dear New, Young Wife, When you said, “I do,” not too long ago, there were probably a lot of other eager and excited thoughts that followed. I can’t wait to share a life with you. I can’t wait to be able to spend all our time together. I can’t wait … Read more5 Secrets Newlyweds Need to Know
Have you ever wondered how to start an affair? Or, maybe you’ve known someone who had an affair and asked yourself how it could have happened. Although I have never personally had an affair, I have had a front row seat. I have seen it unfold, step by step. I have watched as … Read moreHow to Have an Affair
“Everything I do just seems to drive him further away. I know God can save my marriage. But John wants a legal separation so I’m giving him one. I figure it would be better not to fight him and that if I go along with him it will calm him down so that later … Read moreWhat to Do When Your Spouse Wants Out
“Bless you both,” I heard as my husband, Dave, and I opened our eyes after praying over our dinner in the Seattle airport food court. I looked up to see an elderly gentleman and his wife beaming at us from the next table. Instantly, we had something in common—God! When Dave and I acknowledged … Read more10 Tips for Praying as a Couple
Editor’s Note: Do you need sound, Biblically-based advice on an issue in your marriage or family? Dr. David Hawkins, director of the Marriage Recovery Center, will address questions from Crosswalk readers in his weekly column. Submit your question to [email protected]. The couple arrived at our cottage late, having flown in from Tennessee to participate … Read more5 Things You Need to Know about Your Spouse Who Struggles with Depression
I hadn’t expected Saturday, April 7th, 1984 to be extraordinary—but it was. That was the day my marriage died. After discovering that our marriage covenant was broken and my husband wanted out of our union, I started crying that day and didn’t stop for a very, very long time. Ambushed by grief I kept … Read moreThe Day My Marriage Died: Healing in the Wake of Divorce